Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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