the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
