your thong is hanging out like whoa
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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