UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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