she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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