My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
