I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
