He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
