The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
