So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
