you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
