He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
tell me about the fingering
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
