I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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