She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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