covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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