he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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