I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
