Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
