Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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