the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
