I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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