whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
