Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
foreskin is a definite game changer
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
