You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its not stalking. its research.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have fence marks all over my body
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
