i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
