There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
