dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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