the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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