Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
