i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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