Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
