shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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