my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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