apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
