Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
