Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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