i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
