hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
