dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
only if we run a train.
done.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
