At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
