i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
