that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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