I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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