roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
