I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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