he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
