I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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