tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Vodka?
Forever.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
