I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
