Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
