they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
