wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
