I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
