She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
