She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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