Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Are we still banned from the library?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
