The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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