I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
