I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
