Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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