It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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